Today, I'd like to say a few words about what my mom was. I've read so many obituaries that contain the phrase 'she was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother'' And while all of these things were true, I asked myself what, more than these obvious things, was she. Here is the list that I came up with.
She was a caregiver. She spent the first part of her career as a nurse. I believe her first job was as the resident nurse at the B. F. Goodrich Tire Co in Akron. After we moved to Arizona, she worked at Good Samaritan Hospital in Phoenix. The nurse in her never left, and she ended her career the same as she started. At some point, she decided that being a nurse wasn't challenging enough, so she began to take classes in adult education, which led to the second thing that she was.
She was an educator. After she received a Master's Degree in Adult Education, she left nursing and went to work at various Community Colleges in the Phoenix area. At some point, she got hooked up with her good friend, Barbara Kitchens, who was the Chair of the Nursing Department at Yavapai College in Prescott. This week we have around 20 people, big and small, but back in 1970 in our little rental house, there were just the 3 of us. In Prescott in her late 40's, she flourished. She was a member of the Soroptomist club, the Toastmistress Club, among others. She was always so busy. As time went by, it became clear of the third thing she was.
She was a leader. Thru various connections, she became a member of the Board of Directors at Prescott Hospital. I remember when my friend Kent's father, who was the Chairman, and mom went to battle. Chet Arnold realized that he'd met his match. As time went on, she rose up thru the ranks. She became the President of the Soroptomist Club in Prescott, and then, with the blessing of her good friend Barbara, she was selected as the Chair of the Nursing Department at Yavapai. As it happens in Educational Institutes, I think the bureaucracy of Yavapai got the best of her. She really never had much patience for being told what to do. She left to join the Veterans Administration, and the year I graduated High School, she moved to Ft. Lyons Colorado to become the director of Nursing.
But, the one thing that I remember about her was that she was fun. She was a life-long baseball fan. Her teams were the Cleveland Indians and later the SF Giants who we watched together many times at old Candlestick Park. She was also a gambler. She loved to gamble. I remember when we would have poker games with her and my friends at out house. She was not necessarily the best gambler, but there's no forgetting the time on one of our many trips to Reno when she won $1000 on a nickel slot with a watermelon theme. She was so excited and happy. She started giving away her money to everyone. Which leads me to another thing she was' generous. And not just with money, but with wisdom and advice, whether you needed it or wanted it. But, one of the most fun things about her is that she loved to laugh. If she ever got into a laughing fit, it was infectious, and we would all laugh until our bellies ached.
I wish you all could have seen her from my prospective, but I know it's not the case. Sadly, as she got older, the fun in her began to diminish along with the other aspects of what she was. There is no shame is mentioning the fact that as she got older, she got more angry and bitter. My theory was that she was mad at life for allowing her to get old and lose the things that she was. As we all witnessed, it was harder and harder at the end; at first a struggle, then a battle. All of you, especially my sister, had to fight so hard, and it was unfair. But, I will tell you this' She loved each and every one of you more than you could ever know. She loved you, but on her terms and in her own way. Sometimes, it didn't even resemble love. But it was.
I will miss my mom -- the caregiver, the educator, the leader, and mostly the fun one, and not the angry and bitter one. My only hope is that you will all find a way to miss the fun mother, grandmother, and great grandmother that she was.
I miss you mom, and I always will.